Day 341

Tea and stories was wonderful, again. What a blessing to have them in my life. Linda did fit right in and I wish she could come often but her studies come first. She will come when she can. Shaun will drive away in the van this morning before I go to the CofC for my duty. It is a relief and a loss at the same time. Last physical therapy session was good. I worked hard and made progress with core conditioning and balance.

Day 340

I did fill the green bin. Took a long walk and did errands. Had a social afternoon. All good. Today I will start with my last physical therapy session. I’m ready to be on my own again. Afterwards, a quick stop at the grocery store and home to dust and vacuum for tea and stories group. Amy brought the fancy candle for a ritual start to our gathering. Linda Lee will come too. I’m looking forward to including her. She will fit right in.

An invention that would make my life easier would be a beautiful pendant that would cover my heart chakra. It could be a filigree of gold or silver with a changeable center that would hold a jewel or image. It would hang on a satin ribbon. The purpose of this ornament would be to remind me to stay in the moment. It’s a mindfulness monitor. Sometimes at night I wake up with my shoulders tense, the monitor would softly remind me that I am safe and can relax every cell. If my mind runs off to a dark memory, the pendent would emit a vibration that would pull me back to the present. If I am enjoying the sky or feeling my feet as I walk, the pendent would send a warm 7-up bubbling feeling through my body and alert my mind that this is how I want to be. The pendent would focus my attention to areas of my body that hold tension so that when my shoulders start up to my ears, or I’m holding my breath, I would get a pulsing feeling that would act as a relief for my muscles. If I feel lonely the pendant would send images of past and present people that I love and who love me and I could feel surrounded by warm and fuzzy comfort .Every time I send up a prayer of gratitude, the pendent would sound a sweet little bell sound and I would smile. My body, mind, and spirit would stay on the purpose: Living lightly on Earth.. 

Day 339

The decision to let go of the car and getting it ready for the transfer helped me. I slept well and woke up refreshed. They will come and get it Friday morning. Shaun and I put the middle seat in the back. It was dirty with cobwebs. Megan’s garage is a mess. I’m going out early and do yard cleaning. I want to finish in Megan’s yard. May plant carrots in the greenhouse. At least I will water the beets and spinach. Good Wednesday.

Day 338

BOS this morning. I had another restless night. My mind was busy with giving away the car and the reality of it. I want it for one more errand trip so I will offer it to Robin and Shaun for Friday morning. That’s the last day of January so it’s just right. I haven’t driven the car for over a week. Hope the battery didn’t quit. I need shoes, potting soil, and a visit to the dispensary. Life won’t change much. Just need rides.

Day 337

Another wet windy day. I had a strange sleep with lots of busy dreams and woke up with a headache. I don’t get much deep sleep and I’m not sure why not. I’m not aware of any noises or other disturbances from outside. Two walks yesterday between rains and grateful for them. Tractor store for dog biscuits and Walgreens for my prescription. It felt good to be outside after Saturday without moving. Sheila cleaned the kitchen and the living room. I like her work.

Day 336

Low flat yesterday. Hours of TV and that’s all. It was wet and gray inside and out. Long time in bed and much better morning. It is the church’s annual meeting after the service and I’m not sure that I’ll stay for that. I’m not interested in the business of the church. I want to go to service, sometimes stay for coffee hour, and come home. If the rain allows, I will walk to the tractor store to get dog biscuits. Dogs need them.

Day 335

Yesterday was  nowhere day. It was nothing at the CofC.  I wondered if I can go there until the spring tourists start coming. I don’t like to sit and sit. My energy was low to practically inert and when I came home early, I sat here too. I want my life back. I want to depend on my body and right now I can’t. This may be my new reality and I’m not ready for it. I wish I knew more about this disease.