Day 317

I filled the list and the green bin and had a walk. Good day. Today is physical therapy and I have already stretched. I like using my body well. Had a visit from Art and Ellen. They thoughtfully brought me my favorite coffee and seeds for the greenhouse bin.  They are good friends. Ellen may help Megan with her boxes of books when she is ready to tackle the chore. I may get an urge to write at least start on the T&S prompt..

Day 316

Sunday was a good one. Fr. Rick talked about the Christmas star and it was interesting. Then the family had lunch with Ben, Megan’s boyfriend. It was comfortable and ha seemed aa ease with us. I took a short walk to find a tinted moisturizer and found one. Now I have to remember to use it. Today is dry and I have errands and shopping so the car will get exercise. Then I will get out in the yard. I want to feel energetic.

Day 315

Saturday was R&R for sure. Binged on Messiah but did get one short walk for snack food: mini-pretzels and humus. I will attend church for Epiphany and then family lunch to meet Ben, Megan’s boyfriend. It’s been a couple of not well weeks with less than restful nights. I don’t know what is needed to change my energy except do the best I know how. It may be a winter slump or part of the brain disorder but I want my springy self back.

Day 314

The few visitors at the CofC were newcomers and looking to relocate. It’s a different conversation than with tourists. The physical therapy appointment was cancelled. I walked home cold and hungry, grabbed bean soup, and then fell asleep for an hour. The day was not as planned and that’s okay. Today I will walk to the store for a couple of necessities and rest. I seem to need more rest lately and get cold easily but that’s okay too. The winter sun is welcome.

Day 313

I am surprised and delighted by the T&S group.  It is a blessing and a connection that I prize. The trust and willingness to disclose parts of their histories and the response and support are proof that women know how to help each other with sharing. Writing is therapy. Today is CofC. Always different and yet the same routine. Just different faces and stories. Then run home, change clothes and go to PT. I have not done my homework.  The exercises make me sore.

Day 312

New Years’ Day was r&r after aa blitz through the house with broom, dust rag, and vacuum cleaner. Didn’t get dressed. Didn’t talk out loud except to dogs. This morning I want to go out early and collect for the green bin. More pruning and trimming. I want to walk, get the mat down and exercise, and get ready for Tea and stories group. Rosalie will join today. She will fit right in and the group will enjoy knowing her too. Onward in January.

My very first memory of what I wanted to be when I grew up was the first grade at St. Thomas Aquinas school in Reno. I wanted to be a nun. I was fascinated by how they walked without seeming to take steps. They glided along silently. They loomed large to my very small self. They were mysterious.  Later, about 8 years old, but this time we lived in Missoula, I wanted to be a cowboy girl. I had a red felt hat and I even slept in it. I galloped everywhere on a stick horse. My yippee-i-oos echoed through the house. I had a lasso to capture the bushes and tree limbs in the yard. The next memory is about 12 years old. In Eureka, movies with dancing like Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly, Cyd Charisse and Ginger Rogers gave me the moves and I flashed around wearing anything that would twirl. I asked for dance lessons and learned tap. I was good at tap but it wasn’t dramatic and romantic. I was in a high school play and decided to be an actress. I enjoyed putting on makeup and becoming a character. My mom said I was already an actress as she knew who I’d been playing with because I came. home talking and walking like my friend. At some point, maybe 15 or 16, I wanted to be a doctor. I loved our doctor and wanted to be that for other kids. My father stopped that fantasy. He said my options were nurse, secretary or teacher. I don’t like leaky body parts, or sitting in an office so teaching became the goal. I entered Humboldt state at 17 and finished three years before marriage and babies. It took eight years to finish my degree but I never doubted that I would do it. 32 years, three school districts, six principals, six grade levels and I loved every minute.

My current career began in 1993 when I retired and needed some reason to get up every morning. I was depressed and isolated without my role as teacher and I needed to renegotiate my identity. I discovered volunteering. My first placement was at Sunset tutoring adults who wanted to learn written English. One day I said to myself, I’ve done this. What’s new out there? I was open to entering the community and learning how things work. I ran into my friend from Al-anon, Mary Stuart, who invited me to join the police department’s senior volunteer service. I did. When teaching, age doesn’t matter. The common language is education. Now I was with people who had the same presidents and the same issues and concerns. It was interesting and I enjoyed learning new skills and new geography. I went from there to looking for opportunities to do more learning about how things work. I did a lot of writing: Volunteer voices, senior news, triplicate history column, church newsletter, and the Times 60+ plus column. With Mary Stuart and Faith Crist, we established Teen Court through the Juvenile Justice Commission, recruited a judge, trained teen lawyers and found community service placements for the teens to fill their sentences. I worked at the blood bank handing out cookies and making sure donors stayed long enough,. That’s where I learned small talk. It was not a skill I learned teaching. No time for it. I sat on a bunch of boards, committees and advisories,  and then got bored of boards. I’m not a sit and plan person, I‘m a doer. Hollie asked me to come to her classroom and I had such a good time with the kids and no responsibility. She gave me a lot of freedom to do art projects and teach them journaling. I went to the Chamber of Commerce visitors’ center for years, quit, went back again. I enjoy the visitors and heir stories. Spent a decade at the Senior center until I didn’t like how things were going. I’m always on the lookout for something new and stimulating. So, I became politically active by attending board of supervisors meetings. That led to the democratic central committee where I will stay until the end of my term but not renew.  Carol Schach asked me to make a writing group and Tea and stories came from her request. It is often the highlight of my week. When asked to teach creative writing for the Arts for Veterans program, I jumped right in although I had never taught that before and loved the searching for how to do it! Loved every writer. This career has shown me the importance of mental stimulation and its effect on connections and joy.  So, What's next?

Day 311

It was a warm and friendly lunch at Seaquake with Rosalie and Karen. Our conversations go all over the place and that’s the fun. We said one word that would state our intentions for 2020. Mine is stimulation. One big learning last year was how important it is for well-being to have mental stimulation. Teaching the vets was so clear that my synapses need to keep snapping or I am dull. I will keep a running list of how I will accomplish my intention.