Day 126

Not feeling well this morning with the boggy sinuses and mild headaches. It was not a restful night. Coffee helps me get going. Today after church is a Historical Society meeting about the Tolowa language. I will attend and enjoy. Then rest. No plans for weeding or pruning. Hollie and I walked to the market yesterday and found bok choy and strawberries. It was busy and social. That’s the draw for me. I’ve been writing morning pages again. It is useful for moving forward.

Day 125

Beautiful morning, clear and calm, sun rays and warm colors. I will water first thing as I didn’t do it yesterday. I had a bit more energy and concentrated on walking with good posture. I have to get my muscle tone back if I want to keep up with my obligations. The visitors were pleasant and interesting. I like the duty when we aren’t slammed. There were 70 through us by 11 AM. That’s a lot of directions. Hope none of them got lost.

Day 124

Tea and stories was intimate and the sharing is personal. It is a special group of women and I get to take credit for bringing us together and providing a place of safety. Megan is deeply involved with Katharine’s dying. I asked her to lunch and was ready for her to say no, but she agreed and it was a break for her and time for me to support her efforts. Now her friend Sarah has a runaway daughter. Meg is  stressed and strong.

Day 123

Today I will get ready for my Tea and Stories group. It is the highlight of the busy, involved week. I want the house to be clean and inviting so they know how much I like having them here. I have ideas for the writing class that will beef up the homework processes. Morning pages are back in my routine. They have value for clearing the way for the day. I hoped for rain yesterday and it didn’t happen so I need to water.

Sun, sun, sun, Here it comes1 That’s the song that lives in my soul. I love the Beatles version, of course or Steve Berg can sing it at the farmers’ market and make me stop in my tracks. The sun has always been a symbol of hope and beginnings. I stand at the window and wait barely breathing as the rays begin to peek and brighten the sky. There is a hymn we sing at church. When morning lights the skies… And Morning has Broken. Cat Stevens or our music people or the sound in my head, all bring a peace and anticipation. I love sunflowers and sun symbols, Yellow is my favorite color. This time of year for just a week, sun comes in the north windows and I celebrate that. One of my favorite sights is going outside when the sun and the moon are both in the sky. It’s exhilarating. In the darkest time when the sun is hidden behind the house next door, I go out and find a place where I can see it and breathe it in. The string of colored lights help. Color is stimulating and I use the lights all winter. Wooden wick candles help. The crackling sound and flickering flame are reassuring in an ancient way, as if I’m sitting behind a fire in the cave.

Yes, here comes the Sun and it’s allright.

Day 122

My neck feels slightly better but still not all better. It’s been achy since I was 20 years old and we were rear-ended. Then the fall in the bathroom much later that broke a neck bone. Guess I’m lucky that it’s no worse! The BOS was long and I left at noon, cold and hungry. Chuck didn’t fix the light yet. Maybe later today. Museum duty today and I like it. Lots of socializing and greeting visitors. Need to make a couple of appointments.

Day 121

The fourth hour of volunteering is wearing. I run out of energy even when I take a snack. I left fifteen minutes early as I was through working. I enjoy being there and will do the best I can. Today is Board of Supervisors meeting and I will attend and take notes. Later, Chuck is coming to replace the porch light and later still, I will go to Tracy for my neck adjustment. The wind is finally done and that makes walking fun again.

Day 120

Monday. Time evaporates and I want to enjoy it as it sails by. Yesterday I researched for the writing class and found a couple of processes to add to my curriculum. It’s only a couple of weeks until it starts. I don’t know how many people have signed up. I’m looking forward to another fun group. Today will be another busy one at the visitors’ center. The season is in full swing. They all want to see trees, beaches, and rivers. We have them.

Day 119

Except for no long walk due to the wind, yesterday was pleasant. I talked with neighbor John who wants to put a new porch light up for me. I want Chuck to do it as he installed the broken one. I appreciate the guys wanting to take care of me, I also feel that their attention is intrusive. It’s not a safe neighborhood any longer and that makes me sad. I use the security system and lock up when I leave for the day.

Day 118

I was worn out by the time I came home from the center. Lots of visitors and most were pleasant and grateful for directions. I did not walk to Tracy’s for my adjustment. Too windy for comfort. I picked up Mexican dinner while I was there. This morning I woke up without a headache and that’s a relief. Now all the laundry is done, Bedroom is shiny clean and I have an open day. May not go to the farmers’ market in the wind.

Day 117

The day is windy again. It is strong enough to make walking difficult. Hollie and I had a productive day and we found things for the cupboard. I bought a couple of summery shirts for work. We had our favorite Szechwan lunch at Chan’s. I told her about the time Kim left his Stetson and we had to retrieve it. My tea cup slid across the table. He liked the wonton soup. Today will be a mob scene at the visitors’ center. They have arrived.

Day 116

The museum duty was satisfying with interesting visitors and drop-in friends. I enjoy being a contributing part of the community. Karen did her amazing magic massage. I felt so light and comfortable that I made up a haiku on the way home. She helped my plugged up ears and I can hear better. Hollie and I are going recreational shopping in Brookings today. I enjoy her company. It’s good to get out of town once in a while. No big list. Just poking around.

day 115

Yesterday was the best walking I’ve done this month! Whatever that headache was on the 2^nd, it must be passed now. Tracy helped my neck and I felt well all day. The green bin is full and I’m ready for another good day. Museum duty to start and I’m hoping it will be busy there. I enjoy the travel stories. Later, a healthful gift to myself, a massage with Karen. She helps me so much. Life is good and I am grateful for it.

Day 114

Indeed, the CofC was a beehive.  We had 70 visitors while I was on duty. Pleasant interesting people who wanted to see what we have to offer around here. The repetition gets going and it’s like pushing the button on a tape recorder but it gets the job done. Today, aside from seeing Tracy about my sore neck, I will work in the yard and do the  necessary errands. I like a a day off once a week to enjoy not watching the clock.

Day 113

After enjoying the church service, Mother Leslie has a Brit sense of humor, coffee hour was pleasant and included strawberry short cake. We have new members and I visited with Tracy who lives on H street and has a German shepherd puppy. Then I came home, watched the Giants game and napped. No pep for afternoon in the yard. I need to dig another hole for the gopher stake as I didn’t get it in deep enough. Today will be busy at the CofC.

Day 112

All errands done plus had Megan’s company too. She had a conversation with Robert about CBD for her friend with cancer. He gave her advice. I had a problem getting the gopher spike below ground level. The ground is dry and I had to dig and dig and still didn’t get it far enough. I’ll try again today after church. It’s Father’s day. I adored my father but never felt that I knew him. He was a quiet poet guy who loved his gardens.

Day 111

It was an interesting day at the CofC. Lots of visitors and something went on with the interviews for the new ED but we didn’t get in on it. I’m curious as we volunteers are affected by changes. Today is errands plus drive the car. The start will be farmers’ market with Hollie and Megan. Then dog food and sonic gopher stakes at the Tractor store, shoes at Big 5, CBD from Robert’s dispensary, and groceries. Maybe there will be socializing along the way.

Day 110

Yesterday was the best physical energy that I have enjoyed in June. Tea and stories was deep and meaningful. Amy read her short story and they liked it.  I am blessed with our group. Karen chose the next prompt. Today is cool and foggy and I’m grateful for it. Coastal summer weather is here. The CofC will be busy. The tourists are here. Besides housework, I also worked outside and in the greenhouse. The heat helped there with the tomatoes and peppers.  All good.

Day 109

Fog! 55 degrees! Great weather. Three days of 80’s is too much. Megan brought me dinner from Rebecca’s at the farmers’ market. She is devastated by the impending death of her friend. Watching a friend disappear is one of the most difficult parts of friendship. There is not much comfort that I can give her. It’s our job to stay close to our friends, listen to them, love them until the end. Today is housework, dog food, gopher stakes, and tea and stories group.

What my mind wants and has wanted for a while is writing. I keep saying “later” and then I don’t write. I need my discipline and am not taking care of my body or my mind with distractions and procrastination . I don’t want to acknowledge that time is not  renewable. It’s like the house maintenance;  I keep saying that if I wait long enough it will be someone else’s job. Ever since I read Mary Oliver’s line “It’s time to stop looking and start seeing.” I know that my digging and delving must continue. Old pieces of history keep showing up and I need to see the thread that connects my life experiences that have brought me to this minute. Just a couple of evenings ago, I turned on PBS hoping for a concert and there was a documentary on the 1964 flood. And the memories flooded in, The dismal days of cleaning mud, sadness for everything lost including my first marriage as that was the end of any hope I still had for it. All the parts that weren’t working were magnified by the stress. The relationship limped on for two more years but there was nothing left.

The music for this mood would be a dirge by bagpipes and that image brings up yet another moment in my history when I saw a bagpipe band emerge out of the fog while at summer school in Santa Cruz..

There was “joy” to be found in the disaster in the form of gallows humor. I’m picturing our cleaning in Van and Marianne’s flooded house. It was on a knoll and we arrived in a boat. The water had been half way of the walls in the down stairs. As we pulled open the drowned drawers in the kitchen, someone pulled out packages and put the items in a bucket and the papers in the fireplace. It was set on fire and caused a chimney fire. The fire department couldn’t get there and Van said “Why didn’t that happen before we cleaned up?” We all laughed  hysterically and nearly fell down out of exhaustion and deep sorrow.

Day 108

It was hot and uncomfortable. I kept the house cool until late afternoon. Today will be hot. Climate change may make this the new normal. The meeting was short and only a couple of noteworthy moments. Today is museum duty and that building is cool all the time. Long conversation with Kelle about the process of her father’s business. There is money and property to move around and she seems to be the sibling with the know-how. She will be happier when it’s over.

Day 107

I did need a ride home after the meeting. Just lost power. The meeting was interesting as they talked about the convention and the national candidates they met. I’m pleased to be there even though I rarely have any contribution. The CofC was busy. That extra hour of duty is harder than I thought it would be. It’s the leaving the house early that makes me feel rushed. Today is hot again. Out early to water. BOS today. The agenda looks short and sweet.

Day 106

Warm and calm start for Monday. Yesterday was lost time. Just didn’t feel well. Did get a walk around the block to check the agenda for the BOS tomorrow. Seems it will be another short one. Today the CofC duty is likely to be busy. I like it busy. Maybe we will hear who our next director will be. This evening I will attend the Dem committee meeting so a day full of activity awaits. I hope my physical energy matches with my agenda.

Day 105

Another beautiful morning and it’s Pentecost so I need to find a red top for church. Fr. Eric will preside. Later, the usual Sunday activities: Giants game, walking, enjoying every minute of sunshine. Mornings are great and then the energy winds down. I may need a spring tonic or self-discipline to get my pep back Yesterday was okay for the family walk to the market but that was it for activity. I enjoyed bean dip and chips. Writing is looming and I’m ignoring it.

Day 104

Calm sunny Saturday morning! Good sleep, full of coffee and peanut butter. All’s well with the world. Later, a walk to the farmers’ market and hope to find socializing along the way. The yard always calls and so does enjoying living here. It has been a week with a fragile head and low physical energy. I have not been using my mat exercises and it doesn’t take long to lose tone. Time to turn around and get back to my routine. I’ll do it.

Day 103

Good fun to spend time and catch up with Eileen and Karen. Eileen and I have been friends for decades and I value her. Our conversations were deep and genuine. I’m lucky to have so many friends. I know I earn them. I walked a little yesterday, slow but I was outside. I hope this low energy spell goes away. Today is CofC visitors’ center duty. There may be news about our next ED. I have experienced at least seven EDs while volunteering there.

Day 102

Museum was slow. Only a couple of visitors and a school group. Michele picked me up and we had a good lunch. She brought me home and we visited for an hour. She wanted a photo of the rhody since it is beautiful. Today will start with a bit of house work and more yard stuff. Later, lunch at Good harvest with Eileen and Karen for Eileen’s birthday. I enjoy socializing and real conversation. I have deep connections and value them. Life is good.

Day 101

Worked in the yard and succeeded in filling the green bin in a short time. Made a trail around the lemon tree to get to the burned ends. Lots of new growth starting and I’m grateful for that. The shrub that was blocking light in the sun porch is much smaller now. Cleaned the greenhouse too. Walked the dogs individually and that works best for me. Minnie is slow and Jake wants to explore everywhere his long nose can find. Today is museum duty.

Day 100

Less headache this morning after a restless night. I’m glad it’s a day off with no obligation to fill. It was the best kind of busy yesterday at the CofC with people coming two and three at a time so we could hear travel stories. Today I will drive the car, buy some groceries, and work in the yard. I may cut down the giant shrub that is blocking the sunporch window. The lemon trees both need to have the burned parts cut off.

Day 99

The dull feeling from the headache slowed down my efforts at the CofC and I did leave after three hours. This morning my head is not back to normal and feels fragile. I’m on duty again at 9AM and hoping for a clear enough mind to be useful. The good thing yesterday was talking with Michele and making a lunch date for Wednesday. She is interesting and we want to get acquainted so she will pick me up at the museum after our duties..

Day 98

Woke up with a humdinger of a migraine. First one in more than six months. I’m okay now after an Imitrex injection and coffee. Hope it doesn’t color my day. After church I promised to work extra hours at CofC so Shirley won’t be alone. Yesterday was okay with a sunny walk with Hollie and Megan to the busy farmers’ market. It’s a special family ritual that we enjoy. Later, a couple of walks and the Giants won their game. New day, new week.

Great memory of Janet and the fun we had together. This was kindergarten ta Pine grove.1975

Day 97

Did get dinner at China Hut.. It’s okay but costs too much for rice and vegs. That’s okay too because I didn’t want to cook. The massage was a spring tonic complete with singing bowls. Slept well and feel refreshed this morning. The CofC was not busy. People came three or four at a time and that’s easy. Today is the first farmers’ market of the season. It’s dark and gloomy outside for June 1^st. This may be the weather for the summer too!